I have been reading a friend's blog "Echoes from the Elms"(you can reach her blog from my sidebar), She has been writing regarding dealing with hurts and mistreatment's in life. She titled her posts "The Wonder of it All", and "Dear Anonymous". I encourage you to read these two posts and read the comments as well. It is awesome!
But strangely enough today I spoke to my dad (Dale Hopper)and we got into some of the same topic. I did not tell him what Sis Elms (he was her youth leader in Fresno Ca. where her dad was Pastor) had written but I want to share some of our thoughts with you.
Now remember my dad has over 50 years of leadership skills and training and counselling to draw from when he teaches a topic. He can remember tough situations where he had to help some that was hurt by others. Sometimes it is miscues that people get. Or maybe something that was said came out wrong or was misunderstood.
He brought out the fact that whatever the situation is we have to come clean with our brother or sister in the Lord. Matthew 5:22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca(means to degrade someone or call them names), shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;
24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
If we pray and remember that our brother or sister has a disagreement with us we need to go to them and try to mend the fence. You may not even be at fault. But as verse 23 & 24 says if they are upset with you go to them and reconcile. Then come back and pray. Could it be that if you have things that need to be cleared up that God will not hear your prayers until you try to make peace?
I did this with a Pastor in Houston in trying to reconcile a family. The Pastor called it offering them the olive branch. I went to them several times and they were hurt or bothered by things. At first the Pastor thought that maybe I was at fault but as we got involved we found out they were just uncomfortable with things and were just lashing out. Eventually things got worked out and I have seen them a couple of times since then and had good times of fellowship.
My wife and I have been in this situation more than once and in one case a minister that I had not seen in several years came and preached at the church we attended. While he was there he came and warned us against becoming bitter. He had no idea what was going on because we had not talked to him since his son graduated from the school we were principal of in Texas. That brings up another topic "bitterness".
In Hebrews 12:14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:
15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
16 Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.
We are told to follow peace and holiness with all men in order to see the Lord. The next verse mentions bitterness. It says to check ourselves diligently to be sure that we have no bitterness and that it could cause us to fail God. But it also says that if bitterness roots and springs up in you, not only will you be affected but many others will be affected as well.
Bitterness is like a cancer it will eat at you then spread to your family and friends and others. It has to be dealt with. You may not totally agree with a persons actions ways and etc.., but we do have to get along with each other.
Go to them and offer the olive branch of peace then get on with living for God. I have done this and they have not "accepted" the olive branch. But then 5 years later they came to me weeping and asking forgiveness. They paid a high price because they no longer had their two kids with them.
But I have seen many times when things got sorted out how that God was able to bless and lifetime friendships were formed.
A little dispute or misunderstanding will not me from going to heaven! I want to make everything right so I can hear the King Of Kings say, "thou good and faithful servant, enter into my joys". One of these days it will be worth it all, when I see Jesus!
But strangely enough today I spoke to my dad (Dale Hopper)and we got into some of the same topic. I did not tell him what Sis Elms (he was her youth leader in Fresno Ca. where her dad was Pastor) had written but I want to share some of our thoughts with you.
Now remember my dad has over 50 years of leadership skills and training and counselling to draw from when he teaches a topic. He can remember tough situations where he had to help some that was hurt by others. Sometimes it is miscues that people get. Or maybe something that was said came out wrong or was misunderstood.
He brought out the fact that whatever the situation is we have to come clean with our brother or sister in the Lord. Matthew 5:22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca(means to degrade someone or call them names), shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;
24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
If we pray and remember that our brother or sister has a disagreement with us we need to go to them and try to mend the fence. You may not even be at fault. But as verse 23 & 24 says if they are upset with you go to them and reconcile. Then come back and pray. Could it be that if you have things that need to be cleared up that God will not hear your prayers until you try to make peace?
I did this with a Pastor in Houston in trying to reconcile a family. The Pastor called it offering them the olive branch. I went to them several times and they were hurt or bothered by things. At first the Pastor thought that maybe I was at fault but as we got involved we found out they were just uncomfortable with things and were just lashing out. Eventually things got worked out and I have seen them a couple of times since then and had good times of fellowship.
My wife and I have been in this situation more than once and in one case a minister that I had not seen in several years came and preached at the church we attended. While he was there he came and warned us against becoming bitter. He had no idea what was going on because we had not talked to him since his son graduated from the school we were principal of in Texas. That brings up another topic "bitterness".
In Hebrews 12:14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:
15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
16 Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.
We are told to follow peace and holiness with all men in order to see the Lord. The next verse mentions bitterness. It says to check ourselves diligently to be sure that we have no bitterness and that it could cause us to fail God. But it also says that if bitterness roots and springs up in you, not only will you be affected but many others will be affected as well.
Bitterness is like a cancer it will eat at you then spread to your family and friends and others. It has to be dealt with. You may not totally agree with a persons actions ways and etc.., but we do have to get along with each other.
Go to them and offer the olive branch of peace then get on with living for God. I have done this and they have not "accepted" the olive branch. But then 5 years later they came to me weeping and asking forgiveness. They paid a high price because they no longer had their two kids with them.
But I have seen many times when things got sorted out how that God was able to bless and lifetime friendships were formed.
A little dispute or misunderstanding will not me from going to heaven! I want to make everything right so I can hear the King Of Kings say, "thou good and faithful servant, enter into my joys". One of these days it will be worth it all, when I see Jesus!
4 comments:
Bro. Hopper, please forgive my long printing of my thoughts!
There are several points of text where Jesus taught how to keep problems among us humans low. The one you used is to start with. You made several trips trying to get that thing under the blood, with no progress. In a second location in Holy Writ, Jesus next step is to take a witness. Then bring it before the church, “Who shall be able to judge angles.” In another part of Holy Writ Jesus said to agree with your adversary while you are in the way,” you don’t to spend time among the tormentors,” who or what they maybe.
Now, would there be a lesser degree of church, family, group and civic problems if we, as humans, would take the time to stop someone and say. Say I don’t like the way you cut your hair? Oh
No! We, as humans, sit and pick that person with the others of like mindedness. Oh no, don’t even thing of the man with the hair cut stopping one of those and asking what the problem is? Only to be told (lied to). Nothing wrong, there is no problem!
Now for me. Several years ago I was in a situation where a brother had offended me. I made four or five attempts to bridge this rift, with NO luck. At one point he stormed out of a restaurant, saying he would not discuss this with me! Hurt and somewhat confused I made an appointment with my Pastor, who had some knowledge of this problem. His counsel was to wait until I had regained my composure. Then on a Sunday night have one of three men with me, ask an usher to have him come into a room and try once more. I will never forget the look on that man’s face when he saw and grasp what was happening. Yes, he turned on his heel and walked out. My friend just sat there dumbfounded and stunned! In just a few days an evangelist preached on that thing which will consume you, I went to my pastor and we talked and he prayed with me, several days later and to this day I have let the second gentleman carry this weight. I knew that weight would have killed or damaged me forever.
Mervi
ps
Thanks for allowing me to speak.
Mervi, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I also have dealt with similar situations but I was getting long winded so I just stopped in this post. LOL! Visit anytime God bless you!
Kevin, THANK YOU for your post! I'm thankful there is "forgiveness". It's beautiful to see those who have been hurt, restored!
Linda, It is great to see the handiwork of God. How he can melt a heart and make something good come out of the misunderstandings and trials. They can then use it as a stepping stone in their walk with God!
Post a Comment